Art for Breakfast

My father used to do this when we were kids. I remember standing on a kitchen chair and waiting with anticipation for his next pancake creation. I very literally 'ate it up'.

I was so appropriately reminded of this childhood ritual while flipping through one of my favorite magazines at the doctor's office. I couldn't wait to give it a shot this weekend!
Tim ate the caterpillar. Audrey asked for a turtle. I made myself a strange looking alligator. Breakfast was a little extra special this morning.

From now on, no more boring round pancakes at this house.

Emergency Bathroom Rescue.

So, I nearly lost my shit tonight.
We had just gotten home from hanging out with our awesome neighbors. Audrey put a diaper on and headed to the bathroom to do her thing. (We make her sit on the potty with the diaper on. At least we're getting closer to being completely trained.) Anyway, everything was normal until I hear a muffled Audrey shouting for Mama.
She's not allowed to close the door (for several reasons). Yes, it was closed when I turned the corner. I went to open it. Yes, it was locked.
I didn't freak out at first. Actually, Tim and I were laughing about it until Audrey so stubbornly refused to unlock the door. We both know she's capable. So, after several minutes of coaxing her to "turn the little silver thing under the doorknob" Tim tries to unscrew all the hardware. I knew there was nothing under there. I knew the hole wouldn't be big enough to work with.
THAT'S when I started to freak out.
Audrey also began to get frustrated, having a soiled diaper to boot.
She kept sticking her part of the doorknob back through the hole and trying to turn it.

Luckily, Tim didn't waste any time. He went outside with his trusty drill and drilled up through the window latch. (Smart thinkin'!) He managed to shatter only one of four votives that were resting on the ledge. He climbed through and unlocked the door.

Just in time, too, I was about to start karate kicking at it. Hi-Yah!

ModernMom.com Toddler Trouble Photo Contest

So, of course, I'm asking everyone I know to go and vote for Audrey's picture! She's one of ten finalists in this contest.

Here are the details:
Voting has begun and will take place through 5pm PT on 1/30/08 at
ModernMom.com
The entry with the highest number of votes at the end of the voting period will win a $100 Target gift certificate.

This could mean a lot of diapers, people. Tell everyone you know. You can vote once a day.

Thanks a gazillion times, in advance.
If Audrey doesn't win, I'm thinking the toilet kid should.
Go check it out!

Before I begin, I must tell you what happened to spark this conversation. Audrey has several animals (stuffed). She likes to bring them to our bed in the morning so that they can go into the cave with her (she pulls up the covers on all of us in the morning). Anyway, one of her animals is Turtle.
After cave fun, we eventually get up and get ready for school/work. Before going out the door Audrey is always told, "Make sure you put your animals up in your room. You don't want Byrdie or Lincoln to eat them, do you?"
Well, somehow Turtle was left in the cave this morning. Turtle was eaten. He had a large chunk taken out of his shell.

So, again with a bedtime chat:

I say, "I sure am sorry that Turtle was eaten today."
"Can't you fix him, Mommy?"
"I'm afraid not, Honey."
"You can. You can use your glue and your drill."

(She sees us 'fixing' things all the time with tools.)

"I'm afraid that hole is too big. Glue and a drill won't be able to fix that, Sweetheart."
"When you're older you can fix it, Mommy. When you get older you can."
"Yeah. When I get older, I can."

Turtle's been with us for quite a while. Maybe I'll try to patch him up...

Top Heavy.

I didn't walk in the door from work until 7:30. The first thing Tim says to me is, "Damn! Did your b**bs (trying to deter googling pervs) grow an entire size today, or what?"
Thanks, thanks a lot. I needed that. Good to see you too, Honey.

But you know what? I'm pretty sure they did.

When I left for work this morning, I put on a full length coat that used to be rather roomy. It just fit me this morning (in the chest). When I put it on at the end of the day, well, let's just say it'll be a cold day in Hell before I get it buttoned again.

I see a granny bra in my future. FUCK!

Heck Yeah!

It's snowing in Atlanta.
I am so out of the loop and never ever watch the news anymore; I had no idea snow was in the forecast. When I heard that it was, I just laughed it off. Seriously, I never thought I'd see snow again. And what really sucks is that Audrey was not with us this afternoon.

Audrey has pneumonia. Yes, pneumonia. Apparently, it's a lot more common than you think. No need to worry. I'm sure she'll be fine. It sounds a lot scarier than it is. Nonetheless, she stayed with my mom last night and again tonight. (Tim and I couldn't afford to take time off work this week.) I was bummed though, that she wasn't with us to share this "first". I would have loved to see her excitement. Luckily, my parents sensed that I was upset and took her outside for a bit to snap some photos. Good parents. Good parents. They also assured me that she looked better and her fever had gone down. I still miss her.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a snow day tomorrow.



In other news, I'm 20 weeks today. Some of you have been very sweet to call or email. Please understand that I didn't really feel like going into detail about our situation. I simply wanted to put it out of my mind until we received the test results.
You'll be happy to know that my amnio came back normal and everything looks fine. I know I am! I am so relieved. I only hope that the rest is smooth sailing.

Did I say I am hoping for a snow day tomorrow? Freeze already, Atlanta. FREEZE.

What goes on in the mind of a toddler?

So, last night I sneak into Audrey's room to plant a kiss on her soft cheek before going to bed. (I'm always the last to bed in this house.)
I lean over her, give her a kiss and tell her I love her. Back in my bed, I pull up the covers just as I hear her cough and call for me, only once.
I decide to get up and check on her. She coughed again. I got her some water and sort of woke her up so she could take a few sips. Her head hit the pillow, and again, she was asleep. She muttered in a very proud tone, "I have all the red!"
"You have all the red what?" I asked in a whisper.
"I have all the red Jell-o!"
"Mmmm. Jell-o." I gave her another peck and held my laughter.

My daughter dreams of Jell-o.

I'm Still Here...Just Not All of Me.

This month has been extremely stressful so far.
We received some discouraging news about Baby the day after Christmas. Of course, this led to more testing, which took place today. Now, we wait.
I haven't been able to enjoy this pregnancy as much as the first. I hope I'll get some relief in two weeks (when the test results come back). Everything seems to be put on hold- our excitement, our preparations, even talk about the baby. Keep your fingers crossed for us, please.



In other news, Audrey still refuses to poop on the potty. Today, after Tim brought her home from school, she put on a diaper and assumed her normal pooping position. She likes to go behind the chair in her room. She also likes to be left alone. She'll tell you to get out.
Anyway, Tim and I were leaving her to her business when we hear horrible screams. "Mama! POOP! I POOPED! POOOOOOOP! Mama I pooped on myself!" She was mortified.
Because of the procedure I had done today, even though I was first to arrive on the scene, I could not pick her up. Luckily, Tim was right behind me and lifted her to the tub. It was nasty. She pooped all down both legs. There was poop behind the chair. It was a mess. She wouldn't stop crying and screaming, either.

I couldn't stop laughing.

Thus begins the no more diapers era. I can tell you, it won't fair well with Ms. Apple Bottom.