I know it's taboo to talk about these kinds of things before they manifest, but damn if I don't lose my mind over this.
I feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I've never experienced this much uncertainty before.
Selling a house and buying a house, on the contigency that you'll actually sell your house,
is one of the more stressful things I've ever done. I hate it.
It should be exciting. I want
to be excited. However, I am the biggest worry wort you'll ever meet. I'm also a skeptic, a pessimist, and a complete freak when I'm stressed to the max.
Long story short:
About three weeks ago I found myself in an awkward situation. I was pulling out of our neighborhood to go pick up Audrey from day care. After pulling out onto the main road, I noticed this lady was literally on my ass. She must have been flying down the road. She proceeded to pass me on a double line. This being my hood, I honked my horn. She slammed on her brakes. I came inches from her bumper. That wasn't it.
She got out of her car.
She came up to my window bobbing her head and cussing me out the whole way. She stuck her head in my car and her airbrushed fingernail came so close to my eyeball I thought I might lose it. She said something about, "How dare you pull out in front of me...blah blah blah." I managed to get a "First of all, I didn't pull out in front of you. Maybe if you were going the speed limit...." before she cursed at me again. At that point, I said, "Get out of my face." and rolled the window up on her. She remained outside the car blabbering away.
Finally, I grabbed my phone and dialed 911.
(Okay, so that wasn't so short.)
Anyway, it wasn't until I recalled the event for Tim, minutes later, that I realized how affected I was by it. I started sobbing on the phone. All I could think about was, "This crazy woman could have pulled a gun on me. She didn't give a shit about me." and "What if Audrey had been in the car." and "What if I would have slammed into the back of her."
This was, officially, the last straw for me. When I got home, with Audrey, I stuck a For Sale By Owner
sign in the front yard. It had felt good. I was confident then. I wasn't acutally considering the idea that someone might call on it. I never imagined we'd be signing a contract 2 weeks later. Again, I never thought we'd find the perfect house on our first day out. Let alone, put a bid on it!
Now, I'm so unsure. Everything is up in the air. I have no control. My world could possibly be about to change in a matter of weeks. Be careful what you wish for, right?
We wait. We hope. We keep our fingers crossed.