Growing...but not fast enough.

Not her. Her hair!
I was on the phone with El Brown last night. She was on the computer looking at the latest pictures of Punky. She asked, "Did you cut her bangs?"
NO!
The sides of hair are growing at a much faster rate than the top. I swear. (Forgive me Audrey) On most days, her hair resembles that of a clown's.
Grow hair. Grow.

Today, at school, I parked my cart outside of the library so that I could check my email. (I don't have a computer, so this is where I use it.) I was on the computer when a teacher poked her head in the media center and ask the librarian, "Are these free Sharpies out here?"
Wha? Are you insane?
The librarian, one of my few pals, looked over at me and said, "I think they're the art teachers."
The other teacher had already made it down the hallway before I had a chance to get out the door. Yeah. Free sharpies. Idiot. You best scoot your boot down that hallway before I come tell you how stupid you are.
I looked at my friend, the librarian, and said, "I guess I should move my cart inside sos teachers won't be stealin' my markers!"
"I guess so!" she said.

I should take a picture of my cart so you guys can fully understand. There is no mistaking the art teacher's cart.

You touch my Sharpies....I kill you.

Stupid Southerners

This morning, as usual, we went out for brunch.

I was extremely excited because a J. Christopher's opened in downtown Decatur. Nothing special, just some place new to go.
Anyway, because I had gotten up at 6:30am with Audrey, had already been out to Roswell to visit the fam and was ready for a nap, I opted for the turkey reuben rather than breakfast.
I was so disappointed when my plate was brought to me. Turkey- check. Rye-check. Swiss cheese- check. Thousand Island dressing- check. One very important element, THE most important element was missing- the sauerkraut.
I caught the waitress's attention on her way back around and asked, "Call me crazy, but isn't there supposed to be sauerkraut on this?" She said she didn't think so, but she'd get me some if I wanted some. (Um, yeah! That's the whole reason I ordered a reuben. Duh!)
She returned to our table and said, "We don't have any sauerkraut. It doesn't come on the sandwich."
I looked at Tim in disbelief.
He said, "Go get a menu. I don't believe her."
So I did.
I read the whole description, (instead of just stopping at turkey reuben like the first time I read it) and realized that nowhere in the description did it mention sauerkraut. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? I ate my friggin' naked reuben anyway. I wasn't happy about it, but I ate it.

I couldn't help myself when our waitress brought our check. I flipped one of the receipts over and wrote this message:

Dear Manager-
A Reuben of any kind should have sauerkraut on it by simple definition. It's very misleading for a patron that doesn't read the full description on your menu.

I was very tempted to add: "Thanks for ruining my morning." but I didn't.


From Wikipedia:
The Reuben or Reuben sandwich is a grilled or toasted sandwich made with corned beef, sauerkraut, Swiss cheese, and Russian dressing. It is typically made with rye bread, though originally it may have been served on pumpernickel bread.


There is some controversy as to where the first reuben was served- Omaha? or NYC?
You can do the research.

Let's back up.

Last weekend we met Suzanne, Phillip and K'Mae out in Chattanooga, TN.

It was so good to see them. It was even better to watch the girls interact again. They remembered each other. At one point, we just let them loose in a large patch of grass near the river. They went crazy. We all went crazy actually. It was awesome. Running. Jumping. Playing. That's how life should be spent.


On the way home Tim said, "That was one of my favorite short vacations....and it was so cheap!"
"Yeah the best part was playing in the grass."
"Yeah, and you can do that, like, anytime!"
"Yeah."

Aren't epiphanies great?

Glum? Me?

I joined this group on Flickr called 365 Days. You take a self portrait each day for a year. I posted the picture above to the group and the first comment by someone was, "Why so glum?"
It's so funny to view myself as others do. I don't feel glum all of the time. I don't think of myself as glum. This is all futile- this conversation with myself. It's not like I can change my 'look'. Here I am! Me. Forever. Glum. Oh well.

Audrey started saying, "Oh no!" today. It's the cutest. "Oh no!" this and "Oh no!" that. She makes it sound like the world is coming to an end because she drops her crayon on the floor.

Mad Blogging

In all of my years of teaching, this is, by far, the funniest thing to pass before my eyes. Now, it is my understanding that this first grader, yes first grader, has a touch of autism. So, in other words, he's a bit brilliant. The PE coach brought this to a faculty meeting, and luckily, I happened to be sitting at her table. We all passed it around and I couldn't resist asking her if I could make my own copy. She said, "Of course." I made a mad dash for the copy room. (I also posted it on the internet as soon as I got home.)

The next day, the PE coach stopped by my room. She said, "I made you your very own copy of the follow-up."
I was so thrilled that she made me my very own copy. I live for this stuff.
With no further ado, here's the follow-up:

I'm almost certain that his mom put him up to this.

Needless to say, I'm really liking my new job(s). Both of the elementary schools I work at are great. The kids are excited about making art and are super funny. I even found a kid that hates pizza! That's not something you discover everyday. I made him write that statement down on a post-it note and sign it. I still don't believe him.

The best part of working with the little kids is that they can't say my last name very well. It comes out as Mrs. 'Gorgeous'. I don't correct them. As a matter of fact, when they pronounce my name as such, I tell them they get an extra 'A' for the day.

It's that time again.

Happy 16 Months!
RIGHT NOW...
My favorite thing about you is: your babble. You have seriously started putting words together and repeating everything we say. It's awesome.
Tonight, Tim was reading one of her favorite little books to her. It's a Sesame Street book that talks about the sounds on Sesame Street. Audrey, without any prompting said the correct sound for each page. "Bam! Bam! Bam!", "Tick, tick, tick, tick" and "Tweet! Tweet!" Oh, I almost fell over with pride. Yes. Your little voice is my favorite thing about you right now. I simply can't get enough of it.

The biggest relief would be: if you would never get another ear infection again. Please? You are currently on your 6th. I don't want to sign you up for the surgery. I don't want you to be on any more anitbiotics either, blech. Oh, and just so you know- she still refuses to drink milk.



What I’m most looking forward to is: for you to start speaking in sentences. I want to know how your brain works. I want to know what you're thinking. Someday soon, I'm sure you'll tell me all about it.

New words: want more, want down, book, outside, hat, bat, pop, mop, toot toot, I'm sure there's more. I just can't think right now. I'll add them as I remember them. Most of them are from those Sesame Street books. (Best investment ever.)

Some of the funny things you've done lately: Yeah, it still involves food. You refuse to let us feed you. You insist on feeding yourself, which is extremely messy, but damn cute.


You have also been putting on my shoes and clomping around in them. I think I might buy you some dress up shoes. I know you'd like that.

Audrey, I love watching you and your father together. You are my two favorite people and it just melts my heart to see moments like these:

Well on our way to full sentences...

I'm so thankful that she's not sick.
I had to stay home with her on Friday because she had a temperature of 103! My guess was right. It was due to some more teeth coming in. She's been miserable most of the weekend. I think the worst of it is over....for now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed so that I won't have to miss another day of work for a good while.

This morning, I awoke to Tim saying, "Tell Momma what we learned this morning, Audrey Rose." He promted her and she said, "Eggs!" Now, that may not be the prettiest of words, but it sounds so cute coming out of her mouth. Besides, eggs are one of her favorite foods. Now Tim has given her the ability to request them EVERY SINGLE MORNING! Yay! I'll be slaving over the stove. I can see it now:
"Oatmeal Audrey?"
"Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!"
"Damn it."
"Damn it! Eggs! Eggs Mama! Eggs!"

I absolutely love this 'I-can-say-anything-you-ask-me-to' phase. The other day, I was having her repeat after me. She was so deligently repeating every word: kitty, toast, school, etc. So, I thought I'd give her a hard one.
"Can you say Popadopolus?"
"Maw da puh puh."
Close enough for me. She's a genius!

Oh, and I swear she asked for 'medicine' today. She's not even 2 and she's practically self-medicating. Can my child be addicted to orange-flavored ibuprofen?

Uh. I'm a horrible parent.

(Photo taken by Brooks.)

Audrey said her first cuss word just now.
Damn it.

Yes, she repeated my exclamation. I had dropped something.

She said it so clearly.
I am ashamed. But, I also think it's funny.
I can't wait to tell Tim when he gets home.