Someone put me out of my misery

The past couple nights I have been getting only two winks of sleep. I am going to kill these dogs tonight if they continue with their "it's too damn early in the morning for this crap" crap. It's bad enough that the baby is sick and waking us up every three hours, I can forgive her, she doesn't feel well. The dogs, on the other hand, are getting up in the middle of the night and walking around for the fun of it. Who can go to sleep when you hear, "Tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick" on the hardwood floors? I swear Byrd is walking around in circles just to piss me off. Or "Lick, lick, lick, gnaw a flea, lick, lick, lick" right near your ear? I can yell,"Lincoln, knock it off!" and 2 seconds later he's back at it. I swear! It's the slurping noises that really bother me. Jump off the bed, tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick over to the water bowl and it's like they've been left in the desert all day. "Lap, lap, lap, lap, lap." Three minutes straight, seems like fifteen. And when they finally DO decide to settle down you have to fight with them for your space. I am going to kill them! If I had a dollar for every time they jumped up on and down off the bed I'd be in Tahiti right now sipping on a frosty beverage. This weekend we are buying Byrdie a dog bed.

Victory or Death

Last night I nuked a roach. No joke.
Let me preface this story by saying that our microwave is only 15 years old. Just the other day Tim said, "I'm putting a box of baking soda in the microwave."
"Why?"
"Because it's old and it smells like shit."
"Okay."
So, last night, I temporarily took out the baking soda to microwave some sweet potatoes. (I'm making homemade food for The Little..cool, huh?) Anyway, I punched in 5 minutes and decided to do some light cleaning. I was putting some dishes in the dishwasher when the timer went off. I opened the door to rotate the taters and out from the bottom stumbles this disoriented roach.
My first thought was, "Oh SHIT a ghatdamn roach!" My second thought was, "Oh SHIT it was IN the microwave!" By the time I had my third thought, "KILL IT!", I couldn't find anything to grab but the baking soda box. The roach was hesistating just under the lip of the countertop, no doubt catching it's breath from near death. I, very much like a girl, attempted to kill it with the bottom of the baking soda box. The angle was weird and I missed. The floor was sprinkled with white dust and that little fucker got away.
Now, for those of you that know me, I don't kill bugs. I usually scream and run away. This was a big step for me. Also, at this point, I am FREAKING OUT because I saw a roach in my kitchen. Not to mention that he was still alive and out there somewhere. I was repulsed. Tim was going to have to do something about this when he got home. I will not have roaches in my house!
It wasn't until much later that I went downstairs to get a drink when I saw that little fucker again. He was smiling at me from my daughter's rice cereal box. "You're not getting away this time!" It took all of my inner strength, but I grabbed the box with the roach still perched on top. I nearly flipped out when it started to move, but I gathered myself enough to shake it off and forcefully stomp the shit out of it once it hit the floor. Sweet victory. At long last, it was mine again, if only for a little while. I know they'll be back. There's never just one, right?
I told Tim my story when we met in the parking lot for the baby swap. He knows me so well. I thought he'd be proud of me. I actually killed a wretched creepy-crawly thing, but his only reply was, "Did you clean it up?"
"No." Pause. Thinking of something smart to say. "I wanted to leave it for you as evidence!"
He smiled wryly and promised he'd put some traps out.

Are you under the weather?

I'm sick. So sick.
Yesterday I slept the ENTIRE day while Tim watched the baby. He made me get up around 7pm so that I could eat chicken noodle soup and drink my hot tea. He's such a good nurse. What would I do without him?
Anyway, he gave Audrey a bath and put her to bed around 9. I was already drifting off to sleep again when Tim slid under the covers. He started to tickle my back, and then my leg and well, you see where this is leading. I was so exhausted from being sick that I didn't feel like getting my hump on. What I really wanted to say was, "Hey, you put that back right now." Instead, I gave in, and I'm sure glad I did. What they say about sex being a good remedy for congestion? It's true.

The Best of Thanksgiving 2005

I took about 200 pictures during our trip. I won't make you suffer through them all. I'm posting my favorite pictures here, and for my relatives, I will send you a link to all of them via email.
A great time was had by all and to my surprise, there wasn't a single time that I wanted to kill my sister Kelli!














Indiana was very cold, flat and gray. I forgot how desolate the winters can be. And I'm sick as a dog thanks to one of you Hoosiers. Which one was it?

Away we go!

We will be leaving in a few short hours to travel to Indy in style: The Sunseeker Sweet ride, eh?
We will not be seeking "SUN" exactly, more like snow.
That's right ladies and gents, 12 hours in an RV with my sister, her boyfriend, her son and my parents. 24 hours if you count the way back.
Yes, I am voluntarily subjecting myself to Hell! No, seriously, I hope we have fun. I'm going into it thinking the worst, hoping that we'll actually have a good time.
Tim said to me the other day, "You owe me bigtime." And I do.
Of course I will be documenting the whole charade...for your entertainment.
Happy Turkey Day to all.
I'm still packing. (I had to work tonight.) 3 hours to go. Did I mention that we have to get up at 4 and drive out to Roswell? The shuttle leaves at 5am.
Cluck Cluck

Happy Anniversary Love of My Life

Tomorrow is our 4th Anniversary. I want to dedicate this post to my hubby. Everyone should be so lucky.



Thank you. I know I must have done something right to end up with someone like you.

53 Reasons Why I Love You
1.You kiss me goodbye every morning, even if we've gone to bed mad.
2.You say "I love you" at least 3 times a day.
3.I say, "I'm fat!" You say, "You're cute!"
4.You take care of me when I'm sick. I should call you Nurse more often.
5.You're the best at surprises.
6.I think your hands are sexy.
7.You treat Valentine's Day like it's Christmas.
8.You dressed up as a waiter with a penciled in mustache for Valentine's Day and made me dinner
9.I had to beg you for the first kid and now you want 2 more!
10.I've never met someone that falls asleep so fast. Literally, when the head hits the pillow.

11. When I am unhappy you help me figure out what to do..usually by saying, "You should quit your job."
12. You're hot in bed.
13. When I cry (very often) you wipe away my tears.
14. You booty danced for me to get "some".
15. You took me away to Gabby's Cabins for Valentine's Day and we shared a freezing cold dip in a heart-shaped hot tub.
16. Even when you make me so mad that I want to spit bullets, I love you.
17. When I think about you dying I cry buckets and buckets.
18. You like to watch "girl" movies.
19. I love your paintings.

20. I've saved all the cute little notes you wrote me when we were dating.
21. You still write little notes. I love them.
22. I look forward to Winter because you wear your snuggly flannel shirts- they make huggins huggier
23. I think it's awesome that I'm the only one that gets to see you with your glasses off.
24. You're snore is not annoying, it's cute.
25. I realized that I was falling in love with you when you were passed out and snoring on my bed at a party.
26. You are the only one that will pick my zits. (gross- i know)
27. You will tickle my back when I ask you.
28. You are the most imaginative person I know.

29. You stopped drinking and smoking for me when I got pregnant. You always said you would and you did. Thanks.
30. You clean the house every Sunday because you know that I get depressed and overwhelmed at the thought of cleaning.
31. I think the fact that you clean the house every Sunday deserves two spots.
32. When you know I'm super tired and baby wakes up in the middle of the night you say, "I got her."
33. You're the best Dad in the whole world!
34. I like the thing that your mouth does when you get excited.
35. I know you think I hate it, but I think it's funny how you pile up your car with soda cans just so you can recycle them.
36. You tolerate my family.
37. You make me take my medicine.
38. I love to watch you sleep.
39. I love that you spoon me when I get into bed.

40. You're the only person I know that,in one day, changes outfits more than I do.
41. You have the memory of an elephant.
42. You truly are the funniest man in the world.

43. You are the most thoughtful person in the world.
44. Your stories should be published.
45. You still pick me up sometimes even though I weigh a ton because you know it makes me feel skinny.
46. I will be skinny again for you, I promise. (and for me too)

47. The things you said about me on that video that you made while you were a little loopy off the juice before our wedding were priceless. (and i can use if for blackmail in the future!)
48. You are going to travel 1000 miles with my family in an RV for Thanksgiving.
49. You won't want to divorce me after this trip.
50. When I accidently cut off all of your hair, you don't get mad.

51. You're fun to take a shower with.
52. You drive with two feet.
53. I love you most of all because you are you. You are nobody else but you. You are one of a kind. And you're mine. Nobody else's. Mine.


I could go on and on and on. I love you Sweet Pea! Thanks for making me happy. You are the only man for me.

Today you are 6 months old

For Audrey's 6 month birthday we celebrated by taking her to the Atlanta Rollergirls Championship Bout
We even went shopping beforehand to get her a skull sweatshirt so that she would fit in. She looked damn cute.
The bout was incredible. Those girls are serious about kickin' some butt and we found ourselves engrossed with anticipation of illegal elbows and hardknocks. Audrey got her picture taken with the Penalty Princess at her request!

Here she is in action. They really make these rollergirls pay for unfair play. We saw two girls actually beat the crap out of each other. They were penalized by being put in time out and ultimately had to arm wrestle to return to the game. Talk about closure. What a great idea.

Atlanta currently has 3 teams and there is so much interest that next season they have created at least one more full team to compete. I would LOVE to do this....I was even recruited tonight, but resisted the urge to agree to try out. God, can you imagine how much fun it would be? Not to mention an excellent workout!

Tim, Audrey and I are planning to go to all of the bouts in the spring. Roller Derby Rocks.

On with the update:

RIGHT NOW...
My favorite thing about you is: The baby talk you have created. All of the new sounds you are making are amazing. We swore we had you saying 'Da Da' tonight. It is apparent on your face that you are making connections. When you drop a toy you look for it on the ground. When we turn on the music you do your 'singing' thing. I love it that you are so vocal.
The most frustrating thing about parenting is: I can honestly say that at this point nothing frustrates me. I'm racking my brain trying to think of something that irritates me. I can't. If I had to pick something it would be that you don't sleep for 10 straight hours, because Mommy would sure like to. But that's no biggie.
What I'm most looking forward to is: Watching you crawl and eat more finger foods. You have already mastered sitting up unassisted. I thought you'd already be scooting around everywhere on all fours. I guess I should give you more tummy time.
One of the most endearing things you've done this month: I was rocking you to sleep the other night and the shortest layer of my hair was swaying with the rhythm in front of my eyes. You reached up and gently tugged at it. Tugged isn't the right word. It was as if you gingerly ran your fingers through it. You did it for almost 3 whole minutes before your arm got too heavy to continue. I love that you played with my hair. If YOU had hair I would play with yours too.
I hope you had a fun birthday even if you did have your first cold. A runny nose won't keep our baby from roller derby.

Welcome to the world of finger foods.

She really IS a GIANT

We had our 6month visit this afternoon. Audrey weighs 19 lbs! She is 28" long! She is OFF THE CHARTS. The doctor said she is the perfect height and weight for a 10 month old. A 10 month old?? Ahhhhh! She said there is no need to worry, she looks great and for her height she is exactly the right weight. Shwoo. None-the-less, we have a giant baby.
I will do the full update on the 13th.
For now though, check out the waves she's making! We got her a new tub and she loves it. She sits a little deeper in this one and a little more straight up. Her new favorite thing is to splash the hell outta mommy and daddy. It's awesome. It makes ME want to take a bath. But there's really no need for a bath, by the time she's done, I'm drenched!

Oh, she also got two more shots today. Those suck. She screamed her head off. I wanted to cry.
I gave her some Tylenol and she is currently conked out. Poor Baby Poo Poo.
I love her....even if she is a giant.

A Bit of Tim:

If you leave the great continent and follow the westerly winds across the vast and stormy sea you will come upon what sailors call the Great Calm. This stretch of ocean has no wind or currents, so that rotting and aged ships flounder about aimlessly, manned by lonely and forlorn ghosts who stare at the horizon for eternity, dreaming of home. However, sometimes the lucky sailor will feel a fresh and balmy breeze against his sun scorched cheeks and, if he sets his sail just right, he’ll slowly drift southward. After a time in which the ship barely seems to move and just when all hope seems lost, a small speck appears on the horizon, accompanied by the smell of rich earth and hibiscus and cinnamon. This is the island of Halciana

I'll post about my awesome birthday dinner later.

You got mail

I cut myself on a butter knife this morning. I sliced my thumb.
I didn't let it get me down. I finished emptying the dishwasher. Once I finished, I decided that I would fill it back up again (with the dirty dishes that I left in the sink last night). I turned on the faucet, was distracted by a screaming baby, returned to rinse off a plate and burned the hell out of my hand with scalding hot water. I cursed. I didn't let it get me down though. I put the baby down for a nap and we both slept for three hours (thank god!).
We awoke from our slumber to the ringing doorbell. It was the rep from GA Power that I had made an appointment with to assess our house. I completely forgot that she was coming today. The house was an eyesore. A layer of dog hair covered most everything. There were boxes of random shit in the most inappropriate places. Not to mention dirty diapers that I have neglected to throw away. All I could do was apologize. She seemed alright with the monstrosity. The outcome: Our house is the most inefficient house she's seen in awhile. GREAT. I didn't let it get me down though.
I bundled Audrey up and we went on a walk. Before we hit the street I decided to be somewhat productive and water the freshly seeded lawn. So, I set up the sprinkler and we were off. About half-way through our walk I looked across the street and saw these two little boys RIGHT UP on the busy road. I stopped and said, "Hi fellas! What are you doing?" They were no older than 3- tops! I couldn't believe they were out there alone. I crossed the street and asked them where their parents were. No response. I even asked in Spanish. No audible response. I started to get them to back up off the street when I noticed a woman walking down the hill from the apartment complex. Relief and anger. She was so nonchalant about it. She said she thought they were in the car. They could have been killed. It pissed me off, but I didn't let it get to me. We finished our walk.
When we got back to the house I noticed the sprinkler had not been rotating. All that got watered was my car and the driveway. What a waste. I didn't let it bother me. I just decided to pick it up and water the lawn myself. Stupid sprinkler. When I went to grab it, the force of the water coming out twisted it perfectly to spray hella-cold water right in my face! Freakin' shit! I started to get upset. The entire day had been like this. WTF?
I watered the lawn, put up the hose and saw that the mail had come.

Nothing beats depression like early birthday presents in the mail!
Thanks Jen, Ali and Kelly Malizia. I got your parcels today and they made me smile. You saved an otherwise horrible Thursday. After I opened up your mail, I had some motivtion to tidy up the house. Yay!

I wish I didn't have to work tonight. I feel like I might be coming down with something. At least I get to bartend tonight- FINALLY! I hope we're crazy busy. The type of busy where you don't have time to think about anything and before you know it, it's time to close up and go home.

Halloween 2005

Well, I had to work all night, but Tim got to take Audrey trick-or-treating in Inman Park. Meredith's mom is the creepy looking ghoul to the left, Mere's in the middle and that's Claudia to the right.
The bar was slooooow and hardly anyone dressed up. We did, however, get to watch 4 movies.
Tim and I forgot to carve the damn pumpkin! That makes two years in a row that I have failed to use my nifty carving tool. I'm lame.
I hope everyone had a great Halloween.