Goodbye Aughties

2009 in Review

This year has been a very emotional year for me. At this exact time last year, my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and underwent the Whipple surgery.
I was staying home with my 7 month old, 3 year old and two other toddlers. Money was tight and I hardly ever got to see my husband.
I gained 40 lbs this year. 40.
Audrey turned 4 and started Pre-K.
Harper turned one and has never once slept through the night.
I watched as my oldest daughter nearly drown at her first swimming lesson.
Harper learned to walk on her own and has not slowed down since.
I started teaching again and became unbelievably busy with photography sessions.
Audrey received her first haircut and officially lost her curls.
An old friend was lost in a freak accident.
A new friend received some bittersweet news for the holidays and has a long, rough road ahead.
And all that is just off the top of my head.

All in all, Tim and I just tried to keep our heads down and deal with what was right in front of us. I wouldn't say 2009 was a terrible year, but it wasn't one of our favorites. I have high hopes for 2010.

Each year we look back and rethink our decisions. I do regret some, but I can't complain too much. We're here. We're healthy. We're together.

Several events this year have helped me to put my life into perspective.
I am going to live in the moment. Speak my mind. Take a little time for me. And try my damnedest to spend time with those that I love and laugh with.

Goodbye 2009.
"Celebrate we will. Life is short but sweet for certain."- Dave Matthews

Yes, I just quoted Dave Matthews.

Happy New Year.
Let's make it a good one.

On the last day of 2009:

The beginning of a beautiful relationship.... I hope.

A few days ago, Tottie, who was sitting quietly in her car seat says very clearly, "Mama, I love you."

I almost ran off the road. And of course I kept asking her her to say it over and over again. I couldn't hear it enough. "I love you. I love you. I love you." She turned to her sister and said, "I love you, Audrey." At that, I almost cried. She does love her sister.

Every day it's something new. She now sings Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star and the Alphabet Song and she will even grab her baby doll and pretend to sing it to sleep by singing our made-up family song called Bye-Yo. She feeds the baby doll, too. It's cute.

She loves to draw and basically do anything her sister is doing.


This morning, Audrey and I dropped Tottie off at school. It was our day together. We went to breakfast in bunny ears and ran lots and lots and lots of errands. I fielded several questions about Santa Claus and death and the Grinch's nasty disposition. Conversations with a Four Year Old. (It's the title of my future book. Don't steal it.)
When we arrived back home we took a nap together. It was awesome. There are few things I like better than napping with my kids.


We ran a few more errands and then went to pick up the short one. When we opened the door to her classroom her teachers immediately shot me a look and said, "Mom. We have a problem." I was bracing myself for the news. Biting? Another bloody nose? What?
"Your daughter has been stripping."
They said they sat back and watched as Harper entertained herself in the mirror by lifting her dress up to see her belly. Then, they said she lifted it up and over her head and managed to pull it off. They told me how she was literally swinging her dress around in the air as she circled the room laughing. And as they are telling me this story, Tottie decides to show me for herself. I knelt there, in shock, disbelieving that my 1.5 year old could undress herself. And then thinking, "Shit. She can take her clothes off now."
"Shit. She's going undress herself in public."
"Shit."
I was suddenly reminded of a student I had in elementary school that would start undressing herself button by button if you upset her or tried to discipline her in any way. She'd just stare at me and then unbutton another button. Seething. Just stand there and unbutton. It was a genius move, really. Luckily, I was never left alone with her. Her regular teachers would escort her to the principal's office whenever she'd exhibit the behavior. I always wondered if her mother dressed her in shirt dresses on purpose.

Anyway, Harper can take her own clothes off.
I'm hoping she'll keep her hands off her diapers.

When we all packed back into the car, Audrey turns to Harper and says, "I missed you today, Tottie. I really did."
And just before bed Audrey told me that when she gets older, her and her sister are going to get married.

They are so damn cute together.