Happy Birthday Mamaw!

So, this is late, but it's still cute.

Happy Birthday!

She's three! I can't believe it.
Before we even go there, I'm sorry. I know I suck. I just haven't been in the mood to blog, lately.
The only reason I'm blogging now is because I can't sleep.

I've been to the hospital three times.... and no baby. Every bit of excitement I had about this pregnancy has been drained out of me. I guess you could say I'm a bit depressed. I know it's just the hormones though, so we'll continue as if nothing was mentioned.

Audrey's birthday was pretty low-key. We celebrated with our favorite neighbors and pals: April and Amelia. Both of the girls enjoyed the icing and the candy much more than the actual cake. Me, being pregnant, had already eaten my fair share of the cake batter before baking, so I skipped out on my piece. God, have you ever had the cake batter ice cream at Cold Stone? TO DIE FOR.

Anyway, let's jump around a bit. What has been happening since my last post?

• I no longer have ankles. (Not that I had beautiful thin ankles before getting pregnant. But at least there used to be some sort of definition.)
• I have club feet, or as I like to refer to them "Hobbit Feet".
• Varicose veins are abundant as are the spider veins. I will never wear skirts or shorts again.
• My boobs about reach my chin now.
• I have what they call the mask of pregnancy. My nose has widened and I have permanent dark circles under my eyes. I don't even recognize my own mug in the mirror.
• Heartburn is brutal. I go crazy when my tub of rolaids are not within reaching distance.
• All energy has left my body. I'm surprised I'm even typing this entry. Really.
• I want to kill my husband, every day, every hour, every minute. You know, just because.
• Three showers a day do nothing to alleviate my discomfort.

So, let's see, those of you that have emailed me with your concern- thank you.
I hope this entry will satiate you for some time. I have no idea when I will get the gumption to write more. Please know that I am just one big giant ball of crankiness. I cringe when I hear my phone ring. I wince when the first ray of sunlight pierces my deformed face. I dread the thought of walking. I am completely over this pregnancy. My hope is that once she's out, I'll return to normal. Whatever normal means.

Home Sweet Home

I really missed that face last night. I hate being away from my family.
And even though I stayed in bed for an entire day and a half, I still don't feel rested.
You know, they're always coming in and taking your vitals or readjusting your monitor. You really don't get quality sleep. (You probably shouldn't have refused the Ambien. Dumbass. )

I never did get an explanation for the complications. I was discharged with this order only, "No heavy lifting." The nurse handed me my discharge papers and then watched as I loaded up my camera, laptop, clothes, pillow, overnight bag, purse, etc. into my weak and overly pricked arms. She asked, "Can you get all that?" (Oh, don't worry about me. I'm just doing a little heavy lifting all the way down the hall, through the breezeway, out to the garage. I'll be fine.) Isn't it standard procedure to wheel someone out to the parking lot? Oh, well. I'm happy to be out of there. I don't want to see that place again for at least another month and a half.

It felt so good to get home and take a shower. Tim, The Greatest Husband in The World, knows I love to come home to a tidy house. His parents kept Audrey overnight. So he was lonely and not only cleaned and organized, but began repainting our room. He is the best.

And what color do you think our bedroom is going to be?
Well, if you know us at all.... aqua! What else? We couldn't stand the pea green any longer. (You'll see pictures, soon.)

Still need a name for this baby...

April Fools'? Yeah, I wish.

I had quite a scare this morning. Without going into too much detail, my scare landed me in triage around 7:45am with Timmy in tow. That's where I am now. Yep, blogging from my hospital bed.
The doctors could not give us an explanation for the loss of blood I was experiencing this morning. For that reason, I was told they'd like to monitor me overnight.

Don't worry. Baby is doing just fine and the ultra sound came back completely normal. So, it seems we may never find out why this situation occured. I'm just hoping the next 2 months are smooth sailing.

Hospitals sure are boring. At least they have wireless internet. I don't know what I'd do without it. (Hugging my laptop, right now.)

Everything's Back to Normal

My kid is so funny. I mean, really.
She wore her bathing suit all day Saturday.
Today, she wore her ballerina outfit all morning and then put this dress on (backwards).
She calls granola bars vanilla bars.
She won't go to bed unless she has 352 stuffed animals surrounding her.
She arranged her princess figurines in a perfect line on her play table. She said they were waiting in line for food.
She's started making up her own songs. She sings about mommy's belly and her shoes.
She tells me what she's going to do, for example, have a picnic with strawberries and blueberries, and that I should take a picture of her. "That would be a good idea", she says.
She'd run around naked all day if we'd let her.
Oh, and she loves to take showers by herself (Don't worry. I stay in the bathroom with her.)
And at night, she likes to trick me to come into her room by saying, "Mommy! I have to tell you something." When I go in to find out what she is dying to tell me, it's usually something like, "Ursula has 8 legs, Mom."(The evil octopus from Little Mermaid) or "Tomorrow, for a snack I want some jelly beans."
Yes, I've been giving in. Movies, candy, naked house parties. She'll only be a toddler once. And, she'll only be an only for 2 more months.

However, some people never grow up:

Finally, Something Good.

So, after the hardest month of my life (okay, I'm exaggerating), I finally have something positive to blog about.
Tonight, we had our hospital tour.
It was just what I needed.
This pregnancy has literally kicked my ass. It's been unpleasant, to say the least (some of you know all the disgusting details- not blog material- and can vouch for me). It's been extremely hard to be excited about another baby when it's giving you such a hard time in the womb!

Arriving at the hospital, seeing the convenience of the layout and visiting the labor and delivery room really started me thinking positively about this little peanut. It's real. It's happening again and it will most likely be completely different than the first.

The night was made even more special by the fact that all of the doctors in our practice were present and gave us a little personal background before the guided tour. I was happy that Tim was able to see and "meet" them all.

Holding hands, walking down the hallways and looking into the rooms still frightened me a little, but it was a good feeling, not a bad one. I'm ready. And of course, visiting those teeny tiny newborns in the nursery always makes me well up inside. It hit me. Our lives are going to change again, very soon. Having Audrey, seeing her for the first time and immediately being overcome with a love I cannot describe in words, was the best day of my life. I'm looking forward to feeling that heart-exploding magic again.

Tonight, I'm optimistic. Covered in varicose veins, wetting my pants every time I cough, recovering from pneumonia and chasing a moody toddler around, but optimistic.



P.S. I forgot to mention that when we got home Audrey asked, "Did you take the baby out, Mama?"

Nope. She's still in there.

Enough Already!

So, I realize that I've been complaining a lot lately.
I just don't feel good.
I was out 3 days last week with the flu and am out today with, what I think, is bronchitis.
Friday, and I can't even enjoy it.

I've put a call into the nurse in hopes that I can take something. I'm really hoping for some antibiotics. The over the counter decongestant isn't working. (It could be that I yakked it up shortly after taking it...)
I really want to sleep and rest, but I CANNOT STOP COUGHING. I'd even settle for staying in the steamy shower all day, but that's not possible (not to mention what the water bill would be!) This illness has turned me into a cranky, short-tempered, unlikable being.

Last night, in the middle of a coughing fit, Tim says to me, "I wish you'd go ahead and have this baby already. I want my old wife back."

Kill me now.