Somewhere, nearby, there's a squirrel without a tail.

So, this week has been complete and utter Hell.
Hell, I say.
I had the flu for three days. I've literally been up to my ears in work, struggling to meet deadlines. Pregnant. Tired.
Thursday afternoon, Tim comes home with Audrey and she's burning up. Yup, the flu.
Neither Tim or I could afford to take another day off work, so we drove out to my mom's to drop Audrey off. I'd pick her up after work on Friday.
And that's what I did.
Not only was she still feverish, she also had pinkeye. Great.

Traffic was a bitch. We sat in the car for 2 hours on the way home. Rain sure does screw everything up. Anyway, we pull into the driveway and I'm so glad to be home.
Tim was standing outside and told us that we couldn't go in the house.
What? Why not?
Apparently, when Tim arrived home there'd been a squirrel in the house and Lincoln, the dog, had attacked it. There was blood everywhere.

Ok. I wasn't about to stand out in the rain and wait for animal control to come. I was exhausted. Audrey was sick. I'd been in the car for way too long......
Tim's yelling at me, "Angela, don't go in there!" as I disappear into the house with a broom. It was a wreck. Blood was everywhere. EVERYWHERE!
I found the little shit in the corner of the dining room, right next to his unattached tail and a puddle of blood. We went back and forth a couple times, but not 2 minutes later he shuffled out the back door.
"How'd you do that?" asked Tim.
I was so irritable by that point that I didn't bother to answer. I just wanted to get the house cleaned, sanitized and back in order so that I could bathe Audrey, give her some medicine and get to bed.
"Don't go in the bathroom." Tim ordered.
"Why not?"
"Lincoln's in there. He's all bloody."

So, I started with the mop.
Tim wiped up the dining room and disposed of the squirrel parts.
He moved on to the bathroom to get Lincoln all taken care of. I hear that bath water running and then stopping. About five minutes after that I hear, "Shit." "SHIT." "SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! Angela! Get me a towel!"
I open the door to throw him a towel. It appeared as if someone had been murdered in there. Blood on everything. Lincoln is covered in blood again (after his bath) and it's squirting out his nose.
Needless to say, Tim wrapped him up asked for the credit card and was out the door.

I cleaned up massive amounts of blood while Audrey perched herself on the couch and was ordered not to get up.

Luckily, Lincoln was fine. The squirrel got him in the nose and he sneezed opening the previous wound. The vet only charged us $40. That was a relief.

I went to bed after giving Audrey eye drops (which is always a blast). I lay there thinking about how much I hate squirrels.

I hate squirrels.

Sidenote: Did not even find out about the tornado until this afternoon. Totally oblivious.

I fucking hate squirrels.