A First

Today, for the first time in my life, I drank a full pot of coffee, single-handedly.

I don't know why anyone would enjoy this ritual. At work, I nearly ate the ends off three different felt-tipped pens. I wanted to bite my hand off while driving home in traffic. I think I have picked every single scab on my body twice over and I can't keep my legs still.

I'm pretty sure I can actually hear the coffee sloshing back and forth against the walls of my stomach. The acid will, most likely, eat large pits out of the lining.

I was actually afraid to look at my pee. I was afraid I'd look down into the bowl only to discover that it wasn't the normal color, but coffee-colored instead. Luckily, it wasn't that bad, but it did smell like coffee. Maybe I'm just imagining it, but I feel like I'll be sweating out this coffee for weeks.

While you're dreaming tonight, dream of me. I'll be lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and kicking myself in the ass for bringing a coffee-maker to school.
I should have known. Moderation is not in my vocabulary.