Four Tidbits for Friday
ONE
I grabbed a stack of books to read before bedtime. I was just about to start the third, "Chicks and Salsa", when I noticed the front cover was ripped.
"Oh, no!" I said. "Did you rip the cover of this book, Audrey?"
"No. I didn't. Daddy did."
I yelled at Tim from the bedroom, "Teeeeyimmmmm! Did you rip this book?"
From the kitchen, "No."
"Audrey? Daddy didn't rip this book. Who did?"
"Mommy, you did it!"
"No, I didn't. Audrey, did you rip this book?"
"No mommy. Nathaniel ripped it. He ripped it."
"Hmmmmmm, that's funny Audrey Rose, because Nathaniel has never been to our house. How could he rip it if he's never been to our house?"
She parted her lips as if she were going to repond. Instead, she barked at me, "READ IT!"
She realized she wasn't going to be able to outsmart her mother, this time.
TWO
Audrey begins the conversation by saying, "Christmas is coming soon!"
"Yes, it is. Do you know what you want for Christmas?"
She thinks.
"I want a Christmas tree!"
"Well, I think Daddy and I can take care of that. Is there anything you want from Santa?"
She thinks some more.
"I want a blue present, a red present and a yellow present." (I was secretely proud of her, b/c being an art teacher, I noticed she'd just named the primary colors.)
Anyway, I ask her, " What do you want to be in those presents?"
She thinks.
"Shoes.........A Skirt..........A Purple Headband!"
I told her that Santa might bring her those, but only if she's a good girl. (She had been super difficult that day and I was trying to threaten her, see?) I went on to explain that Santa could see her; he was watching her. She said, "Santa watching me?"
"Oh, yes. And he wants you to be a good girl. He wants you to mind Mommy and Daddy."
"Santa watching me?"
"Yes."
"Santa watches me pick my nose?"
"Mm-hm. He wants you to stop picking your nose and he also wants you to go to the big girl potty. If you don't, he's not going to bring you any presents!" (I know. I'm horrible.)
THREE
Tim, being the chipper morning person that he's always been (yes, it's annoying) says, "Good morning, ladies!"
Audrey and I know this as our wake-up call. She rolls over onto my side, half asleep, and says with attitude, "I'm not a lady. I'm a squash bug. I have a bad smell."
I love it when I wake up laughing.
FOUR
I grabbed a stack of books to read before bedtime. I was just about to start the third, "Chicks and Salsa", when I noticed the front cover was ripped.
"Oh, no!" I said. "Did you rip the cover of this book, Audrey?"
"No. I didn't. Daddy did."
I yelled at Tim from the bedroom, "Teeeeyimmmmm! Did you rip this book?"
From the kitchen, "No."
"Audrey? Daddy didn't rip this book. Who did?"
"Mommy, you did it!"
"No, I didn't. Audrey, did you rip this book?"
"No mommy. Nathaniel ripped it. He ripped it."
"Hmmmmmm, that's funny Audrey Rose, because Nathaniel has never been to our house. How could he rip it if he's never been to our house?"
She parted her lips as if she were going to repond. Instead, she barked at me, "READ IT!"
She realized she wasn't going to be able to outsmart her mother, this time.
TWO
Audrey begins the conversation by saying, "Christmas is coming soon!"
"Yes, it is. Do you know what you want for Christmas?"
She thinks.
"I want a Christmas tree!"
"Well, I think Daddy and I can take care of that. Is there anything you want from Santa?"
She thinks some more.
"I want a blue present, a red present and a yellow present." (I was secretely proud of her, b/c being an art teacher, I noticed she'd just named the primary colors.)
Anyway, I ask her, " What do you want to be in those presents?"
She thinks.
"Shoes.........A Skirt..........A Purple Headband!"
I told her that Santa might bring her those, but only if she's a good girl. (She had been super difficult that day and I was trying to threaten her, see?) I went on to explain that Santa could see her; he was watching her. She said, "Santa watching me?"
"Oh, yes. And he wants you to be a good girl. He wants you to mind Mommy and Daddy."
"Santa watching me?"
"Yes."
"Santa watches me pick my nose?"
"Mm-hm. He wants you to stop picking your nose and he also wants you to go to the big girl potty. If you don't, he's not going to bring you any presents!" (I know. I'm horrible.)
THREE
Tim, being the chipper morning person that he's always been (yes, it's annoying) says, "Good morning, ladies!"
Audrey and I know this as our wake-up call. She rolls over onto my side, half asleep, and says with attitude, "I'm not a lady. I'm a squash bug. I have a bad smell."
I love it when I wake up laughing.
FOUR
She came to me this morning, while I was getting dressed for work and screamed, "Mommy! Mommy! I drew a penguin." I expect to look down and see some scribble scrabble. I was shocked to see something that actually resembled an animal.
I shouted at Tim, "Honey, did you help her draw this?"
"No."
"Did you see this?"
"No."
I ran out to show him.
I still can't believe it. It's like the best angry purple penguin I've ever seen!
I shouted at Tim, "Honey, did you help her draw this?"
"No."
"Did you see this?"
"No."
I ran out to show him.
I still can't believe it. It's like the best angry purple penguin I've ever seen!
5 Comments:
I love this time of year when you can threaten kids with Santa. As a babysitter, I tell all the kids I watch that I write an email to santa every year telling him how good they are when their parents are gone. Works like a charm.
what great stories-thanks for sharing! i am about to start pulling out the santa card A LOT here soon!!
Brilliant penguin! May I come and visit her over the holiday?
Love, Beck
Angry Purple Penguine.
They could be a rock band.
Hey, it was good running into you the other day!! Seemed like y'all were in a hurry, otherwise I would've stopped and talked. Hopefully we can do some awesome photos soon!!
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