Sorry about the hiatus...
I guess I've been avoiding this blog because I don't really feel grounded these days. It's not just the blog. I've been late to return phone calls, neglecting house chores, and well, basically living in fear of human contact.
Why?
I think I'm afraid that I'll open my mouth and actually confide in someone- really confide in someone.
How am I going to make it all work? How will we provide for two kids? When will we ever find time to breathe?
I just feel like I'm on the brink of a breakdown. And when I get this way, I just want to sleep the days away.
Tonight, though I was feeling worn down and pathetic, I went and grabbed a pumpkin and decided we'd do some carving . It was funny how all of my worries seemed to melt away once I saw that Tim and Audrey were so 'into' the activities. I mean, I realized at that moment that: we are all healthy, we are all together, our parents and siblings are doing okay, we have jobs, we have friends (although we still manage to be horrible friends ourselves). Everything is okay.
Now, this doesn't mean that I'll no longer worry. It just means that tonight, it was put on hold for a good while.
It was nice to live in the moment.
And didn't Audrey do a great job carving those pumpkins?
11 Comments:
I've felt a bit the same lately, wanting to just hide away.
Not that I'm preggers, but stuff that I was reluctant to let out of my head for fear that I was imaging it all and would seem like a loon.
So, yesterday I took the plunge and talked to a friend about it. I cried a lot, laughed a bit and hurt some.
I'm still no closer to figuring out what will happen with the situation, but I am encouraged to know that I have people around me who are there with open ears and care about how I'm feeling.
Oh! The pumpkins look fantastic! {:->
i don't want to leave the same comment saying I have felt the same way, because someone else already did... But I have felt similar. I just feel tired and unsocial.
Blah...
Feel better... Be encouraged and if all else fails- carve another pumpkin!
Oh, honey.
Two words...
First trimester.
Remember?!!
it must be in the air. i have read so many stories this week of blog friends who just seem in the pits. truth be told, the community honesty might just be the only thing holding me together right now.
lots of prayers for you and many others.
and you will be great at all of this!
This comment has been removed by the author.
sweet girlfriend, just breathe and let go. No matter how much you try and plan, it's just going to happen the way it's all supposed to happen anyway. Not terribly comforting, I know. Try and redirect that energy into stuff like your fun pumpkins. And you're not a bad friend, you jerk. You're busy. And preggers. And loved. So chill. xoxoxoxM
~sorry about the deletion - spelling error! We can't have that, can we?
Sorry to hear you've felt down in the dumps. I can totally sympathize. I've had those weeks where I felt totally overwhelmed, scared, and worried about my family and just wanted to shut down and sleep.
Don't feel that you can't call your friends to vent or to have someone to lean on just because you haven't talked in a while. We are always here for you!
You are a great person AND mom. Everything will be ok! :)
Alison
Come over and receive your Friday Fuzzy!!
hang in there. these last few months have been hard for scorpios...
Hi! I firmly believe we all need to do more of the "living in the moment" kind of stuff. We carved pumpkins for the first time in a long time. It was great just to put everything else on hold.
I found your blog through the Ga. Carnival that Rusty hosted. I've added you to the blogroll at Georgia on My Mind, and look forward to looking in on your struggle from time to time. :)
Just had to say I love your blog and the pictures are fantastic...hope you don't mind if I add you to my blogroll...
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